i was rollin on her like bob the builder
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
