Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
