I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just had sex on a roof
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
