Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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