hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
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