she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Even my vagina gasped.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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