I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
