Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
