I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
