the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
