we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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