Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
