community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
