I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
