I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
