new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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