who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
