I got chris browned last night
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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