and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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