I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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