When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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