What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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