she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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