this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
two words: eviction party
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
