Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
