I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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