Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
