CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
