he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
