My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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