..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
