white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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