Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
