I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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