I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
