this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
