went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
