So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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