Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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