Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
