I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize