i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
