just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
