Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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