"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
