she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My ATM looks so different sober.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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