somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This baby is an asshole
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
