Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We need to get me chipped asap
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
