i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
