I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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