how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
